Lyn Talks About Sex

The thing about birth control is that there are so many different types. Obviously, if you don’t want to get pregnant and still have sex, birth control is pretty much your only way to go. Your method of birth control can vary wildly.

If you mean whether I’m in favor of birth control pills/patches/rings/shots/implants, then my only answer can be: if it’s what fits into your schedule and your health, go right on with it. But remember to always ask your doctor before starting or stopping any kind of medication, especially something that’s a constant like birth control.

For a full list of birth control methods, their efficacy and side effects, and how to use them, check out Bedsider’s complete list. It’s a quick, graphical reference sheet with the full range of options, from straight abstinence to IUDs.

It sounds like your partner may have either penile chordee or perhaps Peyronie’s Disease. These are just different terms for the reasons a penis might be bent. Chordee is a sharp curve at the junction of the head and shaft of the penis, and is often linked with hypospadias, which is when the urethra doesn’t quite make it to the tip of the penis. Peyronie’s Disease, on the other hand, is simply a curvature of the penis in any direction, most likely caused by some scar tissue developing or an injury.

In either case, if it’s making him uncomfortable, I would advise him to bring it up with his doctor to make sure everything’s shipshape down there. Better safe than sexless, honey!

Until that time, the key to making your positioning work is to find positions where he has enough control and room to find an angle that’s best for him. Try laying at the edge of the bed, with him standing (or kneeling, or kinda squatting, depending on the height of your bed) and begin intercourse, but don’t go crazy just yet. Let him feel around, see what kind of angle he needs to be at.

Another suggestion: if you prefer rear-entry vaginal, try getting on all fours but instead of propping yourself up with your arms, bend down onto the bed, perhaps resting your head on your hands. By opening and closing your legs, you can raise or lower your bottom, and he can also get in and different angles.

Remember: communication! He needs to let you know what feels good and what doesn’t. On the flip side of the same coin, remember that while finding something that works for him is the goal, you need to raise a flag if something is painful or uncomfortable to you as well. It takes two to horizontal-tango!

Good luck!

Thanks for the addition, Chase — it’s really a good thing to point out. A lot of girls don’t realize that the vagina isn’t just something that appears during sex and disappears when you’re not using it; it’s a part of your body that moves, conforms, and adapts to your lifestyle and actions. This includes your hymen; there is a litany of reasons why your hymen may stretch or even break, even when you’re still a virgin. It doesn’t mean you’re not still a virgin; it just means that you’re you, and your body has adapted to make sure you’re comfortable being the active person you are.

This is a good question, but in order to answer it, all you really have to do is look at a tampon and then look at a penis.

Tampons are specifically designed to allow as much comfort as possible during application. The hymen doesn’t cover the entire vagina — otherwise you’d find yourself with a heck of a problem. Tampons, even the “Super” grade ones, are slim enough and smooth enough (some even come with a rounded tip for easy insertion) to slip right past the hymen and into the vagina.

Penises, on the other hand, are a horse of a different color. The average penis is probably somewhere around three times thicker than the average tampon, and not nearly as smooth even with a condom on. In addition, the penis doesn’t stop to stick around once it’s in; usually, sex includes one form or another of thrusting. As a result, the hymen stretches to accommodate the increased size and friction, causing the pain.

Thanks, Anon! I hope this helps answer this other curious Anon!

On position I can suggest is the “spooning” technique. Both of you would be lying down on your sides, just as though you were spooning. Rear vaginal entry, and the shallow penetration, allow for height to essentially be rendered null and void. For deeper penetration, have her scoot forward and create a “V” with your bodies.

Another simple fix is a cowgirl with a twist — sit up straight or recline, and have her straddle you. I once dated a awfully tall Viking-type (family was Norwegian) and this position was absolutely the way for us to get up close and personal. This way, you’re right up against each other, giving you the opportunity to kiss, cuddle, and be intimate while you also screw like monkeys. Win-win!

Followers, have any other suggestions for positions for this Anon?

Yay! My first question! Congratulations, Anon!

I assume that your question is about changes that happen during/after your first time, but just in case I’ll answer both forms of the question.

During a woman’s first time having sex, the only really big change that happens is that her hymen is lost. Although I say “lost,” it’s really up in the air — you see, the hymen is actually kind of like a flap of skin that is attached to the opening of the vagina. Typically, when a woman has sex for the first time, that piece of skin stretches and even sometimes tears; this is why it hurts and sometimes bleeds during a woman’s first time.

This is not to say that it happens to every girl during her first time. There are many cases in which a woman’s hymen may have been stretched before having intercourse or even just hadn’t been very big to begin with — such was the case with myself. On the other hand, a woman occasionally develops, or is born with, a hymen that makes penetration very painful or near-impossible, such as a hymen that is made of tissue that doesn’t stretch. Often a simple surgical procedure will fix that particular problem.

During sex, a woman’s body also changes, although very slightly, due to arousal. Her breasts and genitals, being flushed with blood, will often increase in size and become red in color.

As for men, unfortunately there isn’t much information. Since sex is treated as something that men come to naturally and women have to get used to, it’s subconsciously accepted in our society that men are kind of pre-equipped for the task. However, this may not be the case at all — male followers, do you have an answer for this Anon? When you had sex for the first time, did you notice any physical changes?